Everything about me couldn’t ever be contained on a single page, paragraph, or hell, even a fuckin’ book. I have too many interests. Too many thoughts. Too many emotions. Too many opinions. And, although it’s hard to admit, I suffer greatly from severe social anxiety (I always have).
Even though all of this stuff (life) feels overwhelming most of the time, I’ve always loved to share things with people (music, thoughts, ideas, opinions). I feel that the true meaning of life is sharing things, letting people in, and expressing yourself to the fullest extent. Furthermore, life is about trying to change the world for the better– through kindness, art, music, film, and good, useful information.
I grew up loving music. The first music I truly loved was heavy metal and rap/hip-hop. My tastes have evolved dramatically since I was 8.
I watch movies every single day (for the past fifteen years), or, I always have a group of them on, as I’m working on other things. Oftentimes I’ll just change out DVDs, change to another movie channel, or stream something random, whenever a movie finishes. Seriously, I cannot live without doing that, every day.
I love listening to, discovering, collecting, and writing/recording music. I have always been passionate about music and the creation of it. I’ve been in a handful of bands that have failed. I’ve been part of some music that has succeeded on some level. And I’m not even close to hanging up my hat, as a creative person. I feel the best is yet to come.
Between music and movies, I basically have everything I need in life.
I’ve been a music teacher since 2004. I teach drums, guitar, bass, keyboards, songwriting, and recording/music production. I am grateful that this is where most of my income comes from. I’ve always been a natural at teaching and showing people how to do things.
I’ve loved deeply, and I’ve been hurt just as deeply. I have never been religious, though I have always been interested in spirituality and new age stuff. I feel I had a major spiritual awakening in the late 90s, and again in 2015.
I cherish every single person in my life, from facebook acquaintances to old friends and girlfriends who have moved on, wherever they moved on to. I feel that everything that has happened in my life is of great importance and value. Every single moment is a beautiful thing, even if the moment is painful. Sometimes I wish I had a time machine to go back and do things differently, but… everyone knows this is impossible, so I move forward, knowing what I know now, and being the best person I can possibly be.
As much as I’m into and as passionate as I am about everything, I’m a really simple guy. I like good food, good movies and documentaries, good TV, and good music. I like pretty girls who smell nice and who are nice. I like to lift weights and exercise. I meditate often for at least a half hour. I like to go to concerts when money permits. I practice instruments so I can always be better, and I love recording music and spend a majority of time doing that. I don’t leave the house much, as I have basically everything I need in my house and home studio. I love blogging, reading and researching, and doing YouTube tutorials and reviews. I love video games, even though I don’t play them often. I could care less about the cliche things most Americans enjoy (alcohol, specifically, and also sports). I have never cared about politics and I never will. I avoid discussions about religion, abortion, and politics. To fully maintain my interest, talk to me about bands or songs, works of art, any and all books, spirituality, or movies/movie scenes. I’ll never stop talking once engaged in all that. I fucking live for those moments and conversations.
It’s been theorized that I may have Aspergers or high-functioning autism, because of how knowledgeable I am and how insane I get, talking about music and films. Who knows. But I know I have severe social anxiety, and keep people at a distance, emotionally. I’m not perfect, and I never will be. I’m just me. I’m passionate as fuck about all this shit (music, movies, etc), and I can’t live without any of it. All of these beautiful things make life worth living, at least to me.
Some things I could live without:
Police brutality caught on video, and the ongoing police state
Racism (seemingly worse today than ever)
The over-sexualization and narcissism of today’s youth
The reliance on smart phones and similar devices
Baggage that directly affects friendships and relationships
Driving anywhere during rush hour
Everyone’s obsession with texting
Ignorant people who spout their stupid opinions on facebook
People who text while driving
I’ve had a personal website for almost two decades. I remember how tough it was, learning HTML in 1995. If you’re truly bored as hell, feel free to browse the complete versions of my personal sites since 2005 (personal writings, photos, lots of random info, and tons of content).
I consider these sites almost like photo albums. I don’t link these for narcissistic purposes, at all. The way I see it, it’s good to see where one came from, and where they’re going (hopefully somewhere better).
My personal website by year:
2006 (this is the only one active so far)
If I can find all the versions of my sites from 1996-2005, I might upload them, also… it’s fun to reminisce.
I guess I’ll sum up this section by saying thanks for stopping by, and thanks for listening to the music I make, watching videos I’ve done, or reading stuff I’ve written. Nothing ever goes unappreciated. Please drop me a line sometime. I live for personal connections, wherever and whenever they happen. And if you suffer from and struggle with severe social anxiety as much as me, please say hello. <3