I’ll start this off by saying… if you can help me out financially right now, I would be so damn grateful. Insanely grateful. I set up a GoFundMe page with a goal of $1,000. Thanks.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/fgtca-need-help-paying-my-bills

 

 

Well…. life has been ridiculous, as I’m sure you could tell, from how little I’ve posted to my site. Whether it be blogs, cool videos, or whatever. Life has just been ridiculously busy. Mostly good stress, but some bad.

I have $2500 in music and home studio gear listed on Craigslist, Ebay, and Reverb.com… to pay for bills, currently. And to keep my electricity on.

I need most of this stuff for lessons and recording clients. But desperate times call for desperate measures. I’ve reached out to a few people, asking for financial assistance. Most emails have been ignored. Voice mails left come with an unreturned phone call.

I owe $1200 in health insurance premiums, because they took my subsidy/discount away and I have not been able to prove my (low) income. This is actually the least of my problems. I’m the type of person to take care of the NOW shit now, not later. Yes, everyone needs health insurance. But in this political clusterfuck, my options are more limited and it’s just bullshit. So, if it gets taken away fully, then I will re-instate it in November which is only a few months away. I can get through the summer without throwing $1200 away. And it’s looking to be that, right now. Which is fine with me. Rent needs to be paid, and other things need to be taken care of.

I had a cough/bronchitis for 44 days straight. It finally went away after I sent to see my beloved acupuncturist, Sharon Sherman of Empirical Point Acupuncture in Chestnut Hill, Philadelphia. I finally stopped coughing around the 44th day, and saw her on the 38th day, I think. Acupuncture is the way. It cost me only $100 to see her, and she (as usual, for the past 5 years) cured whatever weird shit I couldn’t get rid of… whether singing problems, severe rosacea, or digestive issues. Worth it, every time. Diagnostically successful, and preventative measures for long-term health. I strongly, strongly believe in eastern medicine and Zen culture, and have for over 20 years.

I also decided to go the David Goggins route, and not be a victim of my current circumstances. It costs me nothing to exercise and go jogging (building up to running). So as of tomorrow, I’m back on it. Bluetooth earbuds, great music. Fuck everything else.

I am the type of person who, no matter how bad/depressing things get, I just bite my lip and focus on what’s good in my life: I’m alive, I’m talented and creative, I have someone close who cares and does a ton for me (and I try to do for her as well), and I like a lot of shit about life. There’s so many good things. And there’s a lot of shit missing, but I focus on what’s good. No matter what I’m not going to sit there and just complain about being a victim. I am not a victim. And fuck toxic people. Fuck selfish people. Fuck defiant people. At the moment,  fuck everyone. Fuck everyone. Fuck everyone. This video below is the motherfucking TRUTH:

Fuck all the toxic people in my life, including (or maybe not including) current roommate(s). Fuck all the toxic family shit I’ve been dealt this entire year, and fuck everything that tries to bring me down. I will not go down.

In the midst of all this shit, I have been remodeling a bathroom in my house (basically for free with the help of my girlfriend who’s basically doing 98% of the work), because IT NEEDED IT. There was black mold in the vanity top (the top must have been about 50 or 60 years old and cracked white tiles all over it, which the water easily got into the wood below it for DECADES), the shower is disgusting and impossible to clean thanks to immense neglect from roommates for the past seven fucking years (I’m having it reglazed next week, which is a cheap but very effective and nice-looking way to restore a single-person shower stall without having to spend $4,000 for a complete redo…)…. and we’re also redoing the floor with some flooring I got at a discount (thank you TREMENDOUSLY to those who agreed on the deal). My girlfriend and I found a $1,000 marble vanity top for only $40 that we had to drive over an hour to pick up (on no sleep) and last night, after some jigsawing, perforation-drilling, etc, we were able to make it fit. We will be doing the floor ourselves probably later this month. Again, hours of labor, for free. It’s amazing though, what a fresh coat of paint can do to the walls and to a vanity cabinet (thanks to the girlfriend). If anyone is interested, I will post the details about it, and the before-and-after photos, once everything is done.

I haven’t told the owner of my place that I’m doing this work yet, but he knows it needed to be done as I mentioned this to him a few years ago and has said, if I take care of it, he will reimburse me if it’s over $500. I hope he reimburses me. The air in that bathroom was toxic because of the black mold and so many parts of the bathroom needed repair and restoration. The main thing we needed to take care of was the shower plumbing which was costing the owner probably $200 a year in dripping/wasted water. Multiply that by the 8 years I’ve lived here, that’s $1600 in money literally down the drain. I’m paying for the $800 plumbing work with both of my credit cards combined, which will near-max them both out).

Things will be ok, though. I think. Or maybe they won’t. I don’t know. But massive changes need to be made, in a lot of areas, to keep my sanity.

One of my roommates and someone whom I’ve known forever is completely defiant, disrespectful, and doesn’t listen to anything, or respect the house’s rules. Even when he was told what to do, 10 minutes prior. Such as last night, “you can use the first floor bathroom to shower, while we’re working on this one.” He comes up to my third floor bathroom, and showered in it. 10 minutes after he was told to use the 1st floor one.

I’ve had enough of this disrespect and I’m not going to be putting up with it, anymore, in my life. Ever since dad died I made a choice to remove all toxic people from my life, entirely. There has been strain, repeated strain and stress, since late winter, 2015. And I’ve had enough. I don’t care how hard this is going to be. I cannot have him as a roommate, anymore.

That said…. ugh. Bills.

Please, if you are reading this…. and if you care…. and are able…. I could really use a donation, or handful of donations. Even $5 helps. Please consider.

Donation page:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/fgtca-need-help-paying-my-bills

Or… You can send me money via Paypal at info AT oustedproductions DOT net or Venmo me “themixtape” (shows the name Harold, which is my real name, in case you weren’t aware). I plan on getting it fully legally changed sometime soon. After the chaos settles.

Please help. Thank you for reading and thank you for following my thoughts/creative endeavors, and passion. I love you. Send love to everyone close to you. Be the change. And remove all toxicity.

FUCK TRUMP. FUCK RACISM. FUCK SEXISM. FUCK TREATING IMMIGRANT CHILDREN LIKE CRIMINALS. Enough of all the evil. I’ve had enough. Haven’t you?

 

 

 

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