|perfecting loneliness v1.0|
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My god-awful birth name will not be named, here. The initials are H.C.F. These days I go by Chris Caulder, and most people have known me as "Skip", until probably 2004.
I was born on April 23rd, 1976, which makes me 30. Despite this numerical burden, I still have the passion of a 15-year old who just discovered music, movies, and how cool life can be. Because of this, I feel very isolated in a world of shallow, boring uncultured people. I am a forward-thinking individual, and a hater of the traditional "real world" ethos many people seem driven to follow.
I'm an artist. and
before I get chastised for being a "bum" or "slacker"
(the connotations that are always attached to the word "artist"),
let me explain why. To me, music, films, books, paintings, drawings, poems,
musicals...... they are the meaning of life.
There's nothing I like more than a great song, a film which fucks me up, or a book that takes me to a place I've never been. Nothing I love more than staring at a Dali painting, quoting Charles Bukowski, or studying every detail of an M.C. Escher drawing. There's nothing more important to me in life than art: making it, observing it, listening to it, buying and selling it. Art is the most beautiful gift humans can give. I've been an artist/art enthusiast since the age of 11. I got into music and films around the same time. Something just clicked with me, when i heard Blondie's "Heart of Glass" and when my older sister took me to see the "The Breakfast Club."
I make art because I hate convention. I make art because it feels right. I make art to affect people: to give them what they've given me all my life. I know this all sounds like hippie bullshit, but there's no other way to explain it. I love art. I love creating. It's who I am, it's what I do, it's why I am who I am. A lot of people don't understand that. It saddens me that they don't. How could they not understand? It saddens me that millions of people can't be affected by art in some way. They are the people who go through life without any dreams or the need to share something important with others. They buy Lindsay Lohan CDs and khaki shorts. They watch terrible reality TV shows. now THAT, I can't understand.
Art is the one thing in my life that has always remained constant. It has never hurt me, it has never betrayed me or lied to me. Art is beautiful and always perfect, and it's fucking important. I'm an idealist. I believe people can become more intelligent, more cultured, and generally more interesting when they're heavily into art or if they make it themselves. People need to watch more independent movies, educational television, read more important books, and listen to better music. Sure, that sounds really elitist. But fuck it. It's true.